Wishing and helping you have a stress-free Thanksgiving

By Eileen Ogintz
Tribune Content Agency
Taking the Kids

I wish you a stress-free Thanksgiving.

You are probably thinking that’s impossible, whether you are traveling, hosting or being a guest.

Believe me, I’ve been there – the oven that conked out Thanksgiving morning; the relative who stormed out in a huff mid-dinner; the complaints about sitting at the kids’ table; the inappropriate comments about parenting styles; food choices; careers (or lack thereof), and of course, politics.

Oh, I almost forgot the time a racoon ate part of the turkey my husband was foolishly brining in a bucket on the deck outside our house in the middle of the Connecticut woods!

So, I can’t promise a stress-free holiday. I can, however, offer some suggestions that could help de-stress whatever situation you find yourself in.

IF YOU ARE TRAVELING – Allow plenty of extra time whether you are driving or flying. Airport security lines will be long, even with TSA Pre-Check and Clear (and that’s not even considering if the government shutdown is still going on). Make sure to book your airport parking (or Uber) in advance. You may also be delayed by weather. If you are driving, make sure you have enough supplies in the car – food, water bottles, blankets, entertainment for the kids, portable phone chargers – should you get stuck or simply stuck in traffic.

If you are traveling for a Thanksgiving-week vacation, plan so you have an extra day before you get on your cruise ship or join an organized tour. Travel insurance is always a good idea. (Check insuremytrip.com to compare policies. Some insure kids for free.)

Whether you are hosting or are a guest, make sure everyone is aware of the ground rules. No teasing the younger cousins. No eating on the white couch, for example. No talking politics, religion, parenting styles or whatever triggers those in your family. Set up a place for the kids to play so everyone isn’t tripping over their toys. Make sure medicines and breakables are safely stowed. (Yes, we had a trip to the ER one Thanksgiving when a child decided to sample another child’s pink medicine for an ear infection.)

Hosting family for Thanksgiving is no picnic — some survival tips

AAA projects a record 81.8 million people will travel at least 50 miles from home over the Thanksgiving holiday period this year, an additional 1.6 million travelers compared to last Thanksgiving. As you are stuck in traffic or airport security lines, consider that Thanksgiving is the single busiest holiday for travel, AAA says. Nearly 90 percent will travel by car and that number could go even higher as some travelers decide not to fly.

IF YOU ARE A GUEST – Consider staying at a hotel to give everyone a little space. You all will appreciate comfortable beds rather than a lumpy sleeper sofa and your own bathroom.

Make sure your host is aware of everyone’s food preferences and volunteer to bring a dish for the vegetarians, vegans, young picky eaters, etc.

Bring a hostess gift your hosts will really enjoy after you are gone. I’ve become a fan of Peachskin sheets that are soft, breathable, moisture-wicking and affordable. (Some sets start at $89 with free shipping.)

Order an artisanal cheese assortment from Goot Essa, an Amish dairy farm in Pennsylvania that produces artisanal cheeses. Small baskets start at $45.99

For the wine lover, a unique Wine Advent Calendar like the one from In Good Taste with 24 wines in mini bottles to sample from Dec. 1 through 24, including daily recipes curated to pair with the day’s wine ($149). Bring a special bourbon or whiskey for those who enjoy spirits.

For the kids, a board game they can play together (get away from those screens) like the NY Times recommended, a gem-collecting game where players take on the roles of Renaissance gem merchants ($32 from Amazon) or HIVE, a chess-like game featuring “bugs” where you want to use your tile “bugs” to surround the opponents’ queen ($43 from Amazon).

National park lovers would like the Monopoly National Parks edition ($49.95 from America’s National Parks, which supports the National Park Service.)

LEGO fans would enjoy LEGO Santa’s Post office ($99.99, a LEGO Star Wars Advent Calendar ($44.99) or a LEGO Gingerbread House ($39.99). Find more ideas at Lego.com.

You could offer to spring for take-out the night before Thanksgiving or for everyone to go see a holiday lights display at a local zoo or botanical garden – or offer to take the kids so those hosting can relax. Of course, a gift card for their favorite restaurant to use after Thanksgiving will also make them smile.

If there is a big crowd, offer to pay for someone to come and do the dishes, if they wouldn’t be insulted by such an offer.

FOR THE HOST – Don’t be afraid to suggest relatives or friends stay at a hotel. Perhaps you can find one offering a holiday deal. At least that will keep you from all the extra washing and cleaning up after guests.

Don’t be insulted if the kids won’t eat the creamed onions, homemade gravy or the pies you have slaved over. Have some ice cream novelties or popsicles for them. Remember, the kids’ and teens’ food preferences could well have changed since you saw them last. You don’t need to have anything special for vegetarians or vegans (tofu turkey, anyone?), but you could offer side dishes everyone would like. Mashed potatoes with plant-based milk; mushroom gravy, roasted veggies with maple syrup. There are plenty of recipe options online.)

Remind the kids (and their parents) that they will be sharing bathrooms and the house with more people than they do at home, so they must not leave a mess (that means hanging up their towels and picking up their toys).

Make a list of local sites, playgrounds, museums, etc., they might want to visit – without you.

Most important, remind yourself why you love your family – and that it will be over soon.

(For more Taking the Kids, visit www.takingthekids.com and also follow TakingTheKids on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram where Eileen Ogintz welcomes your questions and comments. The fourth edition of The Kid’s Guide to New York City and the third edition of The Kid’s Guide to Washington D.C. are the latest in a series of 14 books for kid travelers published by Eileen.)